Dear Diary,
I'm about to graduate, 13 years in a state funded jail and its finally over. I've spent 13 out of the 17 and a half years of my exsistance on this rock in school and all of a sudden it will be over, just like that... and I'll get to do to celebrate it is pull a piece of string across the front of a piece of cardboard and then procedee to throw that piece of cardboard as high as I can into the sky at the Chevy Theater hoping to out throw the other 300 or so people in my class in a perilous attempt to hit the 4 story high ceiling.
This year has forced me to take a look back on everything, as it normally does. College applications were a rude surprise about life, instead of going to college for music I find myself going undeclared with no real goal. As stressfull as life has been so far I fear its about to get worse even though my older friends continue to reassure me that college is so much easier than high school.
Maybe it's because of all the rain we've been getting lately but I've been feeling more uneasy than before, having a fear of water really sucks.
That day in middle school was, well needless to say interesting, I think Jordan has told me the story from her perspective 1,000 times in 10,000 different ways. If I didn't love her so much I probably would consider it annoying, but I guess it freaked her out a bit. It surely did its number on me, I still am not much for going near a pool.
I remember it was 6th grade, it was Feburary, yes welcome to public school the logic of having kids swim in the winter is not so understandable in my mind even these 6 years later. I was an awkward child, not exactly fat persay but I wasn't one of those really skinny bony little girls either. I was, well ok still am a bit of a late bloomer so I had the appearence more of a tall 4th grader than a 6th grader. A fact of which I was not too happy about getting into a bathing suit to be paraded in front of a bunch of guys who would be no doubt looking at the girls who had beat me to the wonders that was/is puberty.
My best friend wasn't exactly out to a roaring start herself, she had a rough life in Glastonbury and had just moved down the road from me that previous spring. The two of us had become the best of friends almost imediately. She was at least, menstrating for god sake. But yeah too much info I know.
I don't know why my blood preasure decided to crash that day, it always seems to find the worst time to do it and while swimming in 6ft of water at only 4'7 was not a great time for it to crash. Needless to say it did and I blacked out, I don't remember much after that.
As Jordan tells it, she was swimming in the pool with her back turned to me listening to the teacher give some sort of instruction, she had no idea how long it had been but by the time she had turned to say something to me I was under the water passed out. I still can't get over how shitty timing that was, I've passed out from a bp spike maybe a dozen times in my life, almost all of them at home when I'm about to fall into bed anyway. There was the one time in high school outside of Dr. G's class but it was a carpeted hallway and I was sitting on the ground anyway. I digress....
Well needless to say she thought I was kidding, she kicked me lightly in the arm and then slid down underthe water grabbing my 'boobs' playfully. (needless to say if any of us were surprised that she would turn out to be a lesbian and one of thet top advocates for gay rights in the town they need only to look at this incident) At this point she expected me to jump up and surprise her, or even just start laughing, because yes truth be told you grab my boobs I laugh. [authors note: I have not tried but she has told me this and I've seen Jordan do it to her so yes I know this is true]
She all of a sudden began to realize that I wasn't joking and proceded to pull me toward the surface. When she broke the surface she started screaming, needless to say in the indoor pool that got everyones attention pretty quick. Now as luck would have it, because.... my life is just fucked up like that... our normal gym teacher Mr. Pills wasn't there [authors note: I swear to freaking jesus that is the guys real name] but Mr. Grey [also the guys real name] a substitute fresh outta college who was drop dead gorgeous was. So Jordan gets his attention and he rushes over to the side of the pool where Jordan is trying to help me out of the water. Needless to say no one else is doing a dam thing, whether it was out of shock, the bystander effect or they really did not give two shits if I lived or died I will probably never know nor do I think I want to know.
Jordan claims she didn't feel a pulse on me but I don't think this is true, maybe she was just freaking out too much and your mind plays tricks on you hell if I thought my best friend had just died infront, or well err behind me I probably would have freaked to high heaven too. Though to be honest it almost sounds kinda funny here you have the not popular girl, who has yet to develop, dead, and her best friend who is the new girl and more clearly gay than Rossie O'Donnell is freaking the fuck out while the first year sub was going oh fuck what do I do is rushing over. It almost seems like a bad prank to me, kinda wish I had the guts to have thought of something like that.
So anyway, Jordan litterally starts compressing my chest, hard. I think this is where people started to realize, oh shit she's in trouble, because acording to my friend Steph who was also there Mr. Grey had someone run to the nurses office. So they do that while Jordan is, unesicarily, crushing my chest... and my first teacher crush is giving my mouth to mouth in front of like 12 of my classmates. Insert massive FML here...
So then the nurse and the other student return after calling 911 with a defibrilator... again no one other than Jordan at this point has bothered to even check my pulse and she was freaking out so much she probably had it wrong, it's really pathetic. So what does the nurse do? Of course she sends the other kids to the locker room and then Mr. Grey starts drying off my body while Jordan gives me mouth to mouth. This in fact was the least odd of the whole thing, previously mentioned Jordan's gay, I'm bi, we had made out about 100000 times.
So then the nurse returns Mr. Grey runs to prevent anyone from breaking out of the lockers and what does the nurse do? In prep to shock me she rips open my tankini... and I liked that bathing suit. So now I'm topless infront of my best friend and the nurse... not breathing probably full heart beat despite the fact they've been giving me CPR for about 10 minutes and no one has bothered to check my pulse since the first few moments. Jordan then gives me another breath and I take it this time...
I wake up on the cement pool deck looking up at the ceiling, topless, Jordan and the nurse kneeling over me, my chest feels like it's been hit by a truck, my mouth is bone dry and I'm shivering like mad. I have no fucking clue what had just happened I'm just being wrapped in a towel as I sit up coughing uncontrolably being told to wait till the ambulance comes, wtf? I was just swimming a second ago what ambulance is all I can think.
Such is my life, filled with irony and FML moments. But that's gotta be the biggest wtf so far.
-Aly
